I Want My Lover Back
When Phil and Jane were separated, they thought that their life was over for good. They had been together for 5 years and this sudden break up surprised them and their friends. After doing everything together for the past 5 years, now they weren’t even communicating with each other. Instead of love that they felt for each other, now they felt only hatred and disappointment. However Jane was regretful of being separated from Phil and she did not want to start everything over again with another man. She felt that their relationship should continue and she decided to give Phil another chance. When Jane tried to talk to Phil to put a resolution in their conflict, she couldn’t stop herself. Soon she was screaming at Phil for all the faults that he had done. Although, Phil tried to be as civil as possible; Jane kept arguing and trying to show why she was right and how Phil was wrong. Jane was trying to make Phil understand that he was at fault; but she was being the bigger person by allowing him to come back into her life. Jane was so obsessed with arguing that she did not even realize that she was pushing Phil away. In the end, she was happy because she thought that she had won the argument, as Phil had become unnaturally quiet. However, she realized her horrible mistake when Phil calmly kissed her on the cheek and bid her good luck and farewell. Yes! she had won the argument, but she had lost her relationship for good.
The anecdote above is a typical scenario that is experienced by many. It has happened over and over again in different forms. The one rule that should not be violated in any breakup is arguing to win. Many couples feel obliged to enter a tug of war contest with their words. However, in the end they end up burying their relationships for good. If you don’t want to be in the same situation then you have to take a deep breath and stop penalizing yourself and your partner for the failed relationship. If handled properly a failed relationship can be the beginning of a stronger and loving relationship. Many strong bonds are actually born from failed attempts. However, you need to calm yourself and you need to focus on your actions if you want to be successful.
Failed relationships and losing your lover is never a unilateral event. In fact, it is usually associated with other problems in your life. For example, perhaps you have a bad career that is spiraling down or you may even have income issues. Perhaps you have problems at school or even problems with your parents. All of these can cause problems to spill over to your relationship and you may end up losing your lover in the end. Thus first examine the events that have led you to losing your lover and try fixing them. (For example, get a better job, change your classes, get a second job etc.) By building self esteem, you will be able to face the issues that have gone wrong in the relationship and you can get your lover back again. |
